My Resolution To Be Resolute
So anyone that knows me, knows I that the new year has gotten off to a rather interesting start. One of the first weeks, I went to Disney World. The following week was spent catching up at work, going to a myriad of funerals, and bringing my ailing dog to the vet (don't worry, she's fine). The following week I caught an extreme case of the flu... which caused me to contract a kidney infection which I'm currently dealing with this week.
While I'm not ordinarily "on top" of things, the first month of the year has spiraled out of my control. Between my part-time job and the four other freelance/ part-time jobs I have at the moment, I'm too busy and anxious to remember to take my vitamins for combatting stress.
Though I've, rather impressively, managed to complete everything on time, it's come at the expense of my health, mentality, and relationships. Which kind of brings me to my main point, which is what I've decided to do this year for my health, mentality, and relationships.
Finding A Second Wind
One of my resolutions for 2018 is to only purchase second-hand clothing. I'm making an exception for things like underwear and shoes. I've been reading a lot about living "waste-free" and minimalistic, and while I'm definitely not ready for that kind of commitment, I do want to try contributing positively (by contributing less) to the movement. While it's only January, I've not struggled with the resolution, and have actually found it a little cathartic to know I can just delete all those emails from Modcloth, JCrew, and Levi's without thinking twice. I don't feel the urge to check out the sale sections from my favorite stores (in-store or when I'm just bored on my phone). Which gives me a lot more time for one of my other resolutions.
An Open Book
In addition to working on being more open to people I care about (which I've inarguably been terrible at) I'm trying to always keep a book cracked. Growing up I was never much of a reader, and even know I struggle to find time in my life to do it. So it was naturally becoming growlingly frustrating when I've made efforts to decrease my overall possessions and progress stops at my bookshelf. I have so many books I want to read but can never seem to find the motivation for. So I decided this year I was going to stop making excuses and get through as many books as possible then give the ones I enjoy to people that I think will enjoy them.
I'm happy to say when I was sick last week I finished four books.
I realized that a lot of my stress comes from feeling like I don't have enough time in the day to-- not only complete the things I need to do, but also the things that I actually enjoy doing-- the things that make me happy. While waking up an hour and a half early might also be the cause of my own demise, it's been a source of relief to know that I can have some uninterrupted (albeit usually cold) time to myself where I can do things for myself.
I usually begin by ceremoniously and meticulously grinding coffee beans or mixing matcha while the water gurgles and boils nearby. With hot beverage in hand, I grab my laptop and play an episode of News In Slow German (another one of my 2018 goals) while I write, catch up on work, read, or do puzzles. If all goes according to plan, by the time I'm normally waking up I've finished a project and taken a hot shower-- enabling me to start the day with a win.
So Far, So... So
I have some other resolutions I'm working on... resolving. I have some ideas of things I aspire to, but I don't exactly have a fully-formulated plan of how to accomplish them yet. They revolve loosely around the struggles I've been facing with taking care of myself, communicating my needs, and acting on (and making) decisive decisions. In addition to (or maybe because of) some heavy things that have been weighing on my mind, I've worked myself literally sick... but I'm hoping to change that.
Right now I'm trying to focus on finding some peace and mental stability in these items above, while trying to learn to trust myself to be decisive and speak up. In these efforts, I've been making more time to release frustration through rock climbing and other physical activities, and pretty soon I'll be asking for a raise.
Hopefully the next time we chat I'll be able to share how things have trended positively as a result.